Offensive to Scots

I saw my friend Sean for the first time in months and he was telling me about the haloween party they had in the bar he owns.

"I was looking for you" said Sean. "I wanted to borrow your kilt".

I looked at him and pulled my best squinty face and said "Why did you want to borrow my kilt? You can't just dress up as a Scotsman on haloween y'know! Ye have to be a bit more original than that!".

Well...

It turns out he dressed up as a post-drunk driving Mel Gibson complete with Scottish kilt, Jewish yarmulkie and a bottle of tequila.

I had to laugh.

"Only thing was..." said Sean, "A lot of people said it was offensive to Jewish people but my wife is Jewish and she okayed it".

"JEWISH PEOPLE!! It's fucking offensive to Scottish people Sean!!!!!" I said jokingly.

If I didn't think he'd enjoy it, I'd say Mel Gibson should be crucified for making Braveheart.

The Joys of Fatherhood

The Wee Yin likes to pretend she is flying. I pick her up and hold her above my head and she smiles and giggles down at me like Peter Pan in Pampers. This morning, shortly after she woke up, I was helping her fly from the bed to the changing table for a quick nappy refit when we stopped halfway there and I held her above my head and looked up at her.

In retrospect I really think I saw it coming, but like a salmon swimming upstream, I pressed on ahead regardless. Wee Yin was smiling as she hovered directly above me in an open mouthed wide smile, however, slowly but surely she opened her mouth wider. At this point I think the message reached my brain that all was not well. The next thing I know. a raging tsunami of milk erupted from her windpipe and poured all down my head and face, enveloping me in all its warm trickly glory.

I try not to swear in front of the baby but this elected a very loud "Fucking Hell!".

What a way to start your day! 5 minutes later she was playing with her "Baby Einstien" toys while I drank coffee and stunk like sour milk. The joys of Fatherhood!

Why I am depressed about the election.

The elections are over and the beginning of the end has arrived for George W. Bush or has it? Don't get me wrong, nothing makes me happier than watching that slimy creep squirm as a good dose of reality is delivered to his doorstep - it's about time, it's only taken 6 years and 650,000 dead in Iraq for people to finally see what a murderous little brat he is.

As comforting as this idea is, it is unfortunately not true. 50% of the country is still willing to vote for warmongering, socially conservative candidates. The one victory which the Dems toasted more than the others was claiming the scalp of Rick Santorum in Pennsylvania. This guy was offensive to just about everybody to the left of Hitler but Bob Casey, the guy the Dems replaced him with is an anti-woman's rights and anti-Gay rights. What is really scary is that, in order to defeat Hitler you must offer Mussolini as your candidate.

There are still some reasonable people in the Democratic party, but just like their counterparts in the Labour Party in the UK, they will marginalized so that the right-wing agenda is their selling credentials for the 2008 election. This is another thing that worries me, if the Democrats have to move right in order to get elected then how far right will the Republican Party go in order to appear different? I thought Bush was as bad as it gets, but if you follow this logic then I would not be surprised to see it get worse.

I'm trying hard not make this post sound too depressing - so I will say that the one thing I have found heartening about this election is that people are willing to forget party lines and consider voting with the opposition (even if the opposition is a watered down version of the government). If this trend continues we will perhaps have a group of people who are willing to forget about the big two parties and vote for a party that might actually change things instead of continuing the status quo. Wether that party is the Green Party or the Nazi party is the fight that we have to look to now. I still vote in the UK, not the USA, but I can easily say now that I will never vote for any of the big 2 parties ever again. I voted for Tony Blair because I was sick of Thatcher/Major and look where that got me.