The "Greatest Generation"

We have two cats and they have definitely been feeling the effects of suddenly being relegated to the 2nd division in attention now that the baby is here. One of the cats has reacted by following me everywhere and jumping on me at every opportunity. The other cat has unfortunately reacted by getting really constipated and that resulted in me taking him to the vet for a kitty enema. No I am not joking....

Four enemas later and an overnight stay and nothing is coming out. This morning I had to go over to the vets office and approve an anastestia as they are going to remove the jobbies by hand. Again, I wish I was joking but I'm not.

Unfortunately this has made me think of my Grandad who may well have been the prototype for Mike Myers Scottish Dad in "So I Married an Axe Murderer". Grandad would stand outside the toilet door, you'd see his outline through the frosted glass, and shout: "Dae ye want a corkscrew in there?".

He was also prone to using rhyming slang for toilet visits that I still use to this day.

"I'm off for a Lillin Gish", meaning "I'm off for a pish!" (a pee). He'd also alternatly go for a "Pearl White", a shite (shit). What the connection between bowel movements and stars of the silent screen is I am not sure. Another thing he'd say is "Ah'm aff to see a man aboot a dug!", which indicated that he was off to the toilet.

I guess in a weird way I am keeping these phrases alive even though my Mum hated them. If I teach them to my kid then they are safe for at least another generation!!!!


Another guy I've been thinking about lately is my Dad, he will be 25 years dead next week! 25 years, I can hardly believe it!

I had a sudden flash of him last week as I was reading a book called "Docherty" by William McIllvanney. There is a scene is the book where the Son and the Father are squaring up to each other and you think the Father is going to strike the Son but instead he leans over and tears off a strip of paper off of the newspaper the son is reading and uses it to light his pipe from the coal fire.

This is something my Dad used to let me do. He smoked cigars and he would have me tear off a corner of the newspaper and roll it up. I would then light it on an electric bar fire and light his cigar for him! An open flame on electric bar fire!!!!! Jesus, that cannot have been safe! The bottom of the fire was covered in little bits of burnt newspaper. I'm amazed we didn't burn the house down!