Get on the Program

*This post carries an Irony warning, if you are American and do not understand Irony, look in the dictionary, you'll find it next to "Goldy" and "Bronzy"...........

Christ, it's been almost 2 months since I last posted anything. That's the longest I've ever gone without feeling the need to vent some steam, it's a poitively George-Bush-on-vaction-while-people-die amount of time, and I'm quite proud of it! Why? Well, it means that the apathy training program I've been putting myself though recently is beggining to work. At least I think it is... ah, who cares!

It's been 2 months of DIY, baby poop and stupid television shows. This is not what I imagined myself to be doing in my mid-30's but thanks to the apathy training program... who cares!

I even went out a couple of times and drank some beer... in a bar! Imagine that! Me! Drunk! It wasn't very special, just some sugary water in a glass under a neon light. Standing alone and watching sports. The guy who won the Masters Golf said he did so because Jesus was walking the fairways with him! It was Sunday, I was in a bar, normally I would have screamed about Jesus having better things to do on a Sunday than play golf but I didn't. This was considered an essential step in the apathy training program and I am so happy I managed to pass it with flying colors.

All the big questions have gone away thanks to the apathy training program. Is there a God? What if there is a God but he has abandoned us? Who's gonna end the war? Who's gonna win "Dancing with Celebrities"? How did Madonna get so ugly? Who cuts Bob Dylan's hair?

Get on the program, I promise you'll like it.....