A Man of Respect

Here is an online job advertisement that I spotted while browsing TV jobs in NYC's Craigslist:

Are you a man of respect?

New Harbor Entertainment and Juniper Place Productions is casting for a real-life wise guy to host an unusual television series for a major cable network. Our leading man is in his 40’s or 50’s. His is a strong commanding presence with a palpable subtext of gentle menace. What he thinks and says in conversation is felt and understood by all.

Our man is wise to the ways of the streets, and his opinions about what is right and what is wrong are not based on social mores, or any legal code, but more on what is honestly just. He is also as well dressed as he is well versed in human nature. This is not an acting job. There is no script. We’re looking for a personality rather than a performer.

Our host needs to be quick on his feet, and as wise as Solomon. He is a no-nonsense thinker who can see both sides of a problematic issue and intelligently find a solution. His opinions about human nature will figure strongly in the success of this series. A genuine real life connection with this culture of honor is a strong asset for our leading man. We are looking for a strong commanding presence on camera, and the wisdom to back it up.

This is a non-union arrangement and will be shooting in New York. We are casting now for a May, 2005 production of a pilot episode.

Please contact: **********************************

Now that is Genius!!! What kind of HR person writes shit like this? I love "His is a strong commanding presence with a palpable subtext of gentle menace". What kind of streetwise Meathead knows what "a palpable subtext" is?

I can just imagine the cover letter:

Yo Douchebags,
I gotta a proposition for you! You understand right? Give me the fucking job or I'll break your fucking legs! Fat Fucking Frankie said He'd break yo Momma's legs too.

Yours sincerely

Mook