The End of the World is Nigh

I joined a gym and have been sore in muscles I never knew I had until Monday. I am the guy who vowed never to run unless I was being chased by an angry mob armed to the teeth with cricket bats with long bloody nails sticking out of them. I am the guy whose idea of working your biceps was lifting a pint glass from the bar to my lips. I am the guy whose idea of stomach crunches was bending over to puke Budwieser out a cab window... you get the idea!

So imagine my surprise when I find myself working with a personal trainer and he's saying "Give me another 20!".

"Fuck you" I'm screaming inside, "Fucking Gym Nazi!".

Thank Christ the introduction session was free and I'm not actually paying to flagellate myself. I work out with the guy for an hour and step outside into the rain and briefly consider fucking it all up by going for a pint. I don't. I go home, eat salad, much on a few carrots and go to bed. Two days later (after a cardio workout yesterday) my muscles are still feeling sensitive. I'm not sure I'll be able to lift a full pint glass - better stick to bottles or halfs!

Meanwhile two guys were caught shagging up a tree in Central Park. You gotta love New York!