Strange Omens

What kind of omens are these?

A few days ago I am at the corner shop getting a pint of milk, not my usual corner shop as I am in a hurry and don't have the time to walk the 2 extra blocks to the better shop, no, I am in the crackhead store and there is a crazy woman screaming at the poor girl behind the counter.

"5 DOLLARS, MOTHERFUCKER YOU OWE ME 5 DOLLARS!".

I avoid eye contact with the nutty person and pay for my milk and leave. I am a bit freaked out by having witnessed the confrontation in the store and I have decided to cross the road right where I stand as opposed to walking to the pedestrian crossing.

I look both ways, wait a moment for a car to pass then step out into the road. A moment later my foot lands in something squelchy. I'm thinking: "Fuck, I just stood in dogshit".

I look down. It is a dead cat.

It has been run over a few times and it's insides have exploded all over the road. There is a bit of blood on my shoe but thankfully no guts. I almost add to the poor cat's problems by puking on it right there.

Instead I give a little girly scream and start walking fast towards the house.

I am shaking as I get there, thinking: "Holy Crap, I could have stepped anywhere, it's a wide road and a few inches in any direction and I would have been blind enough to step around the cat without even noticing it! Instead I stepped right in the poor bastard!".

I start feeling like this is some kind of omen, someone is trying to tell me something, I start having visions of crows landing on telegraph poles outside the window of a person who lies in bed close to death, I start seeing plagues of locust and months of drought. I know it can't be good.


A day later I am working outside on my house, the bulb in the porch light has blown and I am trying to change it but the bolts that secure the light to the roof have rusted and it won't budge.

I'm up on the ladder trying to pry these bolts free with a pair of pliers. It's a nice day not too hot and not too cold. Eventually the rusty bolts start to move, little bit by little bit.

The first one comes off okay but the second and final one won't budge. It's getting frustrating and I am ready to take a hammer to the bastard when it eventually gives way... and the light fixture, which obviously hasn't been opened in 10 years jerks free in my hand.

I should have seen it coming but I guess in my miniature moment of triumph I must have opened my mouth just as 10 years of dead moths rained down on me.

I practically flew off the ladder, kind of like a human moth, erratically flapping my arms and spitting frantically. A lot of them had gone down inside my shirt so I tore it off like it was on fire and ran upstairs where I jumped in the shower and washed them off.

I'm standing in the bathroom thinking: "what the fuck? Is someone trying to send me a message?'. Two days and two very strange omens.

A foot full of dead cat and a mouthful of dead moths. I'm sure some biblical shit is going down here then it occurs to me what the message is.

#1. Blind folks should not cross the road anywhere other than at a pedestrian crossing.
#2. Never work overhead with your mouth open.

Life doesn't have to be this hard!