Tubbydreaming

Sometimes it doesn't pay to be overly analytical.

This week, after I had watched my 6000th episode of the Teletubbies I started to notice that these cute aliens, or whatever the hell they are supposed to be, have continuity issues.

I noticed it first in an episode where Lala finds a guitar lying around and attempts to play it while Tinky Winky does his MC Hammer dancing impersonation (at least the Hammer trousers would look normal on a Teletubbie). Anyway, in the scene where Lala finds the guitar the sky over the Milton Keynes landscape... sorry... I mean Teletubbieland, is an overcast and dull grey. By the time the dead baby in the sun is laughing the sky is completely blue.

Now come on Children's BBC. Did you think we wouldn't notice?

The other slightly disturbing thing I have noticed is that after you get beyond about...oh... 3000 episodes in a day, the language of these multi-colored freakazoids starts to get darker. Every time a Tubby says "bye bye!" in that weird squeaky helium voice I start hearing "DIE DIE". I now have dreams where Po is standing over me holding a 12-gauge shotgun between my eyes and saying "It's time to Tubby DIE DIE!". Maybe I should stop eating so much cheese before going to sleep at night.

Oh well, I guess it's my own fault really. Somewhere along the line I lost touch with my inner-child (to quote Bill Hicks: "I saw my inner-child on the side of a milk carton") and now I view everything with suspicion.

I grew up too quick but it seems some people never grow up. Take this guy!

I had to laugh at that story. Everyone has either used or considered using the "My Granny died" excuse to get a day off work. It just doesn't seem like such an advisable idea if you are a public figure like a footballer.

I guess it is one of the trappings of celebrity that you can no longer kill off your relatives or take your kid to the dentist/doctors whenever you have a hangover. As soon as you make that first million that's it, avoid hangovers by never sobering up and you'll never have to off your granny.

Ayeeeeeeeeee.....