Movin' on

Crawl into work bleary eyed after 5 days visiting my Brother in Vancouver, wonder why the hell my Wife and I live in New York. Vancouver has so much space, it is so much cheaper, it is cleaner, the scenery is better and the people are friendlier. On the drive back to the house from JFK airport we got cut off twice by fuckwits practicing fuckwittery in their SUV's then we spent 30 minutes driving past our house looking for a parking space, at one point it seemed like we had passed the house so many times that we were scoping it out so we could case the joint!

Ah, New York has a lot going for it, please don't get me wrong - I love the place and I love living here. It's just not the easiest place to live sometimes.

I haven't been able to write much lately because of a lot of crap going on in my life - the biggest part of which is the fact that I am getting laid off on December 1st. This was a bit out of the blue but no real big deal - for me that is, a lot of my friends at work have been here for 15 years or more, I feel terrible for them. Why is it not a big deal for me? Well, to be honest, not only was I sick of my job and bored, I was also going to be laid off by my handicap in a few years anyway. Working in television is not exactly the perfect gig for a guy going blind!

Also, I'm sick of seeing the same faces on my hour-an-a-half bus ride every morning.

Faces that include an Asian guy with Downs-syndrome who punches me in the stomach just when I'm least expecting it as his friendly way of saying "hello". I've tried to explain to him that I don't always notice him because not only am I blind, it is also 5.30AM and my cognitive functions generally don't wake up until 6AM. He always thinks I'm joking when I go "OOOOFF!", one day I'm gonna punch him back but I'll probably hit the wrong guy.

Faces that include the hardcore Jewish guy who won't sit down and uses the back exit door of the bus as his personal wailing wall. Head-banging away over his copy of the Tora and reciting prayers to the "stop the bus" bell I always want to chuck him off, not because he's Jewish but because He's a religious nutter... and probably a ZZ Top fan.

Faces that include the guy with "The Park Slope Food Coop" bags (the same food coop I belong to) who gets on with a granny cart filled with evil smelling soups and reads books like "The Purpose Driven Life". He might lead a purpose driven life but his soups smell like cabbage that has been pickled in somebody's arse.

Anyway, I'm sure these people look at me and think I'm just the idiot with annoyingly loud Ipod who likes to creepily stare into space.

So the rut is over, however It's still a rut I managed to lie in for 5 years and it's a wee bit intimidating to think that I have to move on and lose some of the security that having a steady paycheck brings. At the same time though, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I've been handed an opportunity to do make some positive changes in my life. The end of one cycle of my life and the beginning of a new one.