J'accuse!

I accuse the New York Aquarium of gross insensitivity.

Last weekend we took the wee one to see the fishes, she always lights up when she is standing with her nose pressed against the glass watching the seahorses or the angel fish. One of her first words was "Turtle" after all, so it makes sense.

Anyway, we spend an hour or so trudging around looking at all these lovely fish, all sorts of colors, shapes and sizes. Very exciting for the kids and very relaxing for the adults, all in all, a good way to spend a day.

The problem comes when we go to the cafeteria for some lunch. Now, normally I would be whining about overpriced sandwiches and crap tea that is the the bane of tourist attractions and museum cafes the world over, but no, at the New York Aquarium they have to go one step further.

We are standing in line to get served when I glance at the menu and I'm shocked... top item on the menu..... fish and chips.

I guess it could have been worse, they could have had "Nemo chunks" and "Flipper Fingers" on there but it just seemed really strange. We'd just spent the last hour looking at these beautiful fish and now they are asking if we want to eat them.

It reminded me of a place I worked when I was about 17, this place made these big Italian sausages and I was in charge of taking these sausages down from a rack and dipping them in a big tank of blood and god-knows-what to flavor them. Every time I hung the sausages back on the rack, which was taller than I was, I would get blood all over myself. When I got on the bus to go home that night I looked like I had just slaughtered my whole family, the paper boiler-suit the place gave me was not blood-proof and it seeped through to my clothes.

Any I digress a bit, my point was that this was a really disgusting job and when lunchtime finally came I was very happy. Until, that is, I got to the cafeteria and the menu consisted of variations of the same sausages I had just been making. I can still feel the nausea that rose in my stomach now almost 20 years later.

"I know what's in these things! Why the heck would I want to eat them?" I asked.

"Because they're free" said a woman who looked like Lunch Lady Doris from The Simpsons.

"One of the perks of the job, eh?".

"You could call it that" she said as she stubbed her cigarette out on a Yorkshire pudding. "Do you want some gravy?"

I looked at the liquid that looked like it had recently inhabited the poo-chute of Porky Pig and said"No Thanks".

I walked to the office at the end of that day and quit.

Anyway, thank you NY Aquarium for dredging up that terrible memory and please take fish off the menu ASAP.