Improving the Karmic Universe

I had an idea on how to improve American Idol (Pop Idol in the UK) - we run the competition as usual but rejected contestants are tarred and feathered then beaten by dwarves in vinyl mini-skirts armed with cricket bats.

Eventually we pick our winner but instead of giving them a recording contract or whatever the fuck they win, we surgically remove the winner's vocal chords and transplant them in their bumhole. They are then forced to sing the national anthem at every major sports event for the rest of their lives.

It sounds dreadfully negative and violent doesn't it? Well actually, I'd argue that we are, in a way, doing our bit to improve the state of the karmic universe.

National Anthems would sound embarrasing and would be done away with. As a result of this we will destroy rabid patriotism and "my country's better than your country" vibes everywhere. Wars will end and we would never have to listen to any of those boring songs like "God Save The Queen" and "The Star Spangled Banner" ever again. We can replace them with farting baby videos like the one below and the sun will shine like never before.