We are all Monkeys in our own Zoo!

It’s effin hard to keep up one of these blog things and try to make it at least slightly funny when the world just keeps getting stranger and stranger!

I mean how can I be funny about a tornado blowing through the City of Birmingham? How can I be funny about Karl Rove leaking the name of an undercover CIA agent, but yet the person who goes to jail is a New York Times reporter who was trying to protect a source (presumably NOT Rove in her case but someone Rove would like to get his poisoned claws into!).

Next I find out that they just discovered a new planet that orbits our sun, I find out that Edward Bunker and Oscar Brown Jnr both died.

My Best Man Thomas dropped into town last week with his wife Lucinda and we got off our arses and headed up to the Bronx Zoo. I haven’t set foot inside a zoo since I left England (Six and a half years ago) so it was an interesting experience; one that reconfirmed my love of animals and my dislike of Humans.

The Bronx Zoo is a mind-blowing set-up. The animals are really close and the surroundings are remarkably well designed, so much so that for the first hour we were like “Where’s all the fucking rhinos?”.

Unfortunately the human animals on display were of the lowest caliber - affirmation of the fact that the theory of evolution, as George W. Bush believes (and He should know), is in fact “Just a theory”. Like, Bush, a lot of the people we ran into were more of the 3rd stage in the ascent of man and not the last. In short I was surrounded by knuckle-draggers that made me want to jump into the Gorilla cage for some intelligent company.

For example: one woman was overheard by the Polar Bear enclosure, on a 100 degree day in NYC, to ask wether the Polar Bears pool was heated!! Another woman was overheard saying to the Great Apes, “Oooooo Clever Monkey!”. I swear the ape looked at her like she was the stupidest thing this side of Pauly Shore. He may even have flipped her the bird.

Let's open up a Springer Zoo where we can all go and gawk at White-Trash-Spandex-Wearing Bozos and just stare at 'em... oh wait... that's called Walmart!