Saturday, January 02, 2010

Facebook stole all my best jokes.

The week that past is usually bookended by 2 serious drinking sessions plus days of soul searching in between. The soul searching days are when we sit down and we gather all our guilt about eating too much and drinking too much and say to ourselves: "I'm gonna join the gym right after New Years" or "I promise to not get so drunk next time" or "I think I'll give up wanking for a week".

The next year rolls round and we rinse and repeat ad nuaseum.

I wrote that on Jan 4th, it is now January 30th and I haven't had a single unit of alkyhol since January 2nd.

Don't worry, I am not joining the temperance society of Jersey City, I just needed a break and I feel good for it. My mid-winter blues descended in the first week following the new year like the Hindenburg landing at Lakehurt, NJ. (Sneak a peak at the cover of "Led Zepplin 1" if you don't get that reference).

I realized I had to backpedal pretty fast and work out how the hell to climb out of the deep dark funk I got thrown into, stopping the drink was a no-brainer. I started a vitamin D regimen and stayed the hell out of the pubs for a month.

Now I feel much better, almost good enough to start writing again, hence this nonsense.

It's been such a long time since I wrote anything in here that I was afraid the whole blog would have just disappeared into the digital ether by the time I came back around to it. Depression has definitely been a big factor in this lack of material, but to be honest, I used all my best jokes on facebook.

Facebook eats your up life. It grabs all your best one-liners and shares them with a very select group of people, people who are not too disgusted with your references to face fucking teddy bears and bestiality, that call themselves "friends".

It's such a weird world we live in now. The six degrees of separation has been whittled down to 2 or 3 degrees. Everybody is wired and everybody has an instant ego that they want to share with you. There is no escaping and you either embrace it or sail away to a distant shore like The Kinks "Apeman".

Of course, this blog has been 3 years of ego-dumpage and [affects David Koresh voice] YOU ARE ALL MY SUBJECTS.

Apologies for the rambling nature of this note but I have not had to string more than a sound-bite together in the last year so consistency is gonna take a while to return.

Here's to a written 2010.


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